What's that feeling ?

i realise that life ain't like... i really will change , i really wont do bad things anymore, means you are able to run away from the punishment that you ought to be facing. no, no , no.
even if you truly wan to repent, you first also have to go thru what you are suppose to be facing. THE CONSEQUENCE.
hell loads.
i seriously have alot of feelings, seeing *her, about to go into prison, missing all the good stuff, and ruining her own future, i seriously feel sad for her.
i dunno what are the stuff that had done, to earn all this dis-like from ppl, but she is after all a human. is that why i am sad?
or is it becoz i feel that eyanne is suppose to have her by her side thru-out her journey of life? well... is this what it's called, FAIRNESS?
going into RTC, not being able to look after eyanne, not being able to watch her grow, is this being fair to the baby? somemore, if the worst scenario were to happen this week during the court enlistment, then she is going to miss eyanne's 2 years of growing life, which is so damn important... sigh.
should i say that i am feeling sad for her? pity? no?
probably i just think that she can deserve better and lead a better life if she didn't choose that path in the first place?
time and time i heard from her that she is willing to change, but time to time i also seen her hanging out with what we call,"the bad influence". is that a sign of changing? well... i don see any.
i really hope that the most suitable outcome will come to you, so that you will be able to atleast feel that you have been taught a lesson.
are you going to change when you come out? hopefully? but what has been confirmed is that if you really were to go in, you will be missing the major exam.:/
i seriously think that you are "wasted" y'know! SHITO! just hope you will hang in there, and thanks for texting me despite all the happening. to show that i care, i will be by your side if you ever need one.:D



back to happy yet sad stuff! yesterday wen tot my grand ah ma's birthday to celebrate her 83rd's birthday.seriously, i wasn't much looking forward to it, because i am sure to experince alot of remarks and etc which makes me feel like telling them, " can you be more creative?" if i ever had the chance to choose, i willl prefer not to have any relative on my dad's side.
but hor, at the same time i will also wan leh... coz taht's my main source of a ang pao...:C
then went to see yi hua off to air port as she is going to london to study... oh welll... i seriously miss her.. so hopefully she be back to visit soon, or probably can be like what she say, go over for a few days and stay with her.:D